When I'm Not With You
by Sky Astor
Summary: Clara is depressed and all alone in her cold flat... The Doctor tries to comfort her. Whouffaldi. Twelve and Clara. One shot. Angst. Depression/sadness. Fluff.


**Author's Note: **Sometimes, I feel really sad and empty... And that was basically the inspiration for this fic.  
Thank you for reading!  
Reviews are appreciated.  
I hope you like it. :3

**When I'm Not With You**

Clara had returned from school, but this time, something was different. The whole flat seemed so cold and lonely – lonelier that usual. There was no smile on her young and beautiful face, no happiness inside unlike other days. She felt a strange pressure in her chest – like if there was a small plug inside that made breathing just a little more difficult. She felt quite empty. Maybe it was because of the day she had – kids could be so rude sometimes, so uncooperative, so aggressive – and all of them secretly against her, like a little army. And the teaching staff? She didn't get on very well with them. There were only few real friends – among them Adrian, who fell ill, and Danny, who passed away two years ago. Back then, when he lived, she thought she could have a future with him… And she remembered what she had said on the cemetery.

_I wasn't very good at it, but I did love you._

She felt guilty. He wasn't the only one she loved – there was also the Doctor. And then Danny had died, got turned into a cyberman and his deep love for her was the only thing that kept him fully conscious - she felt even guiltier. It was a horrible time for her, but she managed to get over it.

_Tempus vulnera sanat._

She sat in the cold kitchen on her own. It was almost completely silent, the only things she could hear was her own breathing and the sound of the wild rain-drops drumming on the window ledge. She felt like something was eating away from her on the inside.

* * *

The flat filled with the wheezing sound of the TARDIS while she was appearing in Clara's little living room. The door opened and the Doctor stepped out – wearing his purple shirt whilst his coat was resting on the console of the time machine.

"Hello, Clara!" he called joyfully.

She took a deep breath but didn't answer him. Instead, she waited until he found her in the kitchen.

"Ah, here you are. Come on, then. All of time and space is waiting," he said cheerfully.

"Hello Doctor," her voice was quiet.

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

She didn't even try to pretend being okay because he would notice anyway. He was very attentive to his impossible girl.

His brain tried to figure out why she hadn't rushed towards him full of energy - as always when he came to take her wherever she wishes.

_Exhaustion? Illness? Maybe she had eaten something bad at school… _These and other possibilities flew through his mind.

Her lips curled into a faint smile and she tried to shun his gaze by looking at his feet.

He frowned at little because he had no idea what was going on, which made him nervous. He hated not knowing.

"You're malfunctioning again. That sad smile is so confusing. Do you take pleasure in confusing me?"

He expected she would laugh as always, but she didn't.

He knelt down in front of the chair to win her attention back – and he succeeded. She slowly looked at him. His raised his eyebrows when he saw her slightly red eyes.

"Have you been crying?" he almost whispered.

She nodded and he could feel a little sting in one of his hearts.

"Don't worry," she started, "no one has hurt me" she assured him.

"Good. I was just about to ask that," he said in a dead serious tone.

She giggled in response, which made him smile.

He was always glad when his actions amused her. It was not important what it exactly was that made her smile – but he was happy when she did.

He took her hand in his.

"Please, Clara," he caressed her cold knuckles with his thumb, "tell me what's wrong. I want to help you."

"I'm just sad and I succumbed to the feeling too much," she said, "It's just silly," she shook her head, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"No, it's not silly. This happens to everyone."

She looked down at their hands and smiled shyly.

He pulled her gently by to her feet. His arms nervously found a way around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"Well, that's new," she giggled, "I'm usually the one who goes for the hug."

"It seemed like the right thing to do now. I'm just giving it a try," he murmured in her lovely smelling, brown hair.

"Do you ever get lonely?" she mumbled against his neck.

"I'm always lonely… and empty," he had hesitated before he continued, "When I'm not with you."

That soft sentence, one could say almost confession, touched her heart. She hated the thought of him being sad or hurt in any way; yet, somewhere deep inside, it made her happy that he desired to be with her.

"You're cold," he added, trying to change the topic quickly to avoid situations, which might make him feel uncomfortable.

Clara hummed approvingly.

"Wait here," he said and disappeared.

She smiled to herself as she moved to the window, already missing his touch that provided her with warmth. The sky was filled with dark grey, angry clouds and rain was pouring down on the roofs of London. The sight of the soaked city that was lying around in hues of grey reminded her of the way she had been feeling since the morning. Yet there was something beautiful about it.

"Here," came his soft voice.

She turned around to find the Doctor standing behind her, offering her his black jumper with the holes in it.

"Thanks," she said and took it, brushing her finger against his.

The Doctor watched her as she put it on. A bright smile appeared on his face because the jumper was too big for her and she looked quite funny.

"Oi! Don't laugh!" she said cheerfully, poked him in the stomach and he twitched a little.

"Hey!" he said and covered the spot with his hands like as if her finger was a sharp needle.

Clara enjoyed seeing him happy – his beautiful smile that wasn't seen very often, his sparkling eyes as blue as the sky on a clear summer day. She was always glad when she could share his happiness.

"You look lovely in it," he spoke softly and made a gesture towards her.

"I know," she replied with a cheeky grin and turned around like if she was on a catwalk.

He puckered his lips as he memorised the sight of her wearing his favourite jumper. She looked indeed very pretty… even _cute _came to his mind. Clara grabbed his hand and led him to the living room that was quite dim due to the gloomy weather outside.

She sat him down and nestled in his lap immediately. His fierce eyebrows flew up as he gasped and gave her a puzzled look.

"Thank you for being here for me," she said gratefully.

"I'm always here for you," his tone was husky, his pupils were dilated. Automatically, he wrapped his arms around her, feeling how his palms started burning at the touch.

"Why didn't you call me?" he continued sweetly.

She shrugged, "I don't know. Just didn't feel like doing anything."

She was losing herself in his piercing eyes blue, which seemed to have caught a hint of green.

"Would you like to go somewhere? Some wonders might relieve you of the sad feelings," he suggested.

"I'm looking at them right now," she whispered and slowly closed the distance between them.

Her lips gently brushed against his and she felt how his fingers on her back clutched the fabric of her blouse. His lips were gentle against hers, kissing her slowly and maybe a little shakily. Her fingers ran through the soft, fluffy curls on the back of his head – twisting them, playing with them. She felt how her skin's heat increased. It was like finding a missing puzzled piece.

His hearts were racing and pounding hard against his chest. For him, it felt like the world stopped existing – there was only Clara and nothing else. His nose brushed against hers as he suckled on her swollen, drugging lips. His mouth escaped a little moan and he felt how he was melting away.

Clara ended the kiss slowly, placing her hand on his rising and falling chest. He was looking at her like a startled owl at first, uncertain of what shocked him more – the fact that she had kissed him or how much he had enjoyed it. She smiled at him shyly and he wasn't sure how to respond. Hundreds of ideas flew through his brain, but he simply was too slow to pick one.

"And the answer to your previous question, Doctor," she started and he cocked an eyebrow, trying to remember what question she had in mind.

"Yes, I do take pleasure in confusing you," she said, grinning at him.

He felt a slight blush creeping on his face when he realised that she was still massaging the back of his head.

"Of course, you do," he whispered with a little smile.

She turned a little, so she could sit between his legs with her back against his chest. He embraced her and pulled her close, so she could rest her head on his shoulder. One of his hands found hers their fingers intertwined. His second hand remained around her waist.

"You're feeling better, then?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am, thank you."

"How about a planet?"

"In a moment," she said quietly and closed her eyes to enjoy the moment.

"Of course, boss."

He placed a tender kiss into her hair and waited until she is ready to fly to the stars. The trip was just a thought that had come to his mind and he actually could do without it right now. He was happy that he could comfort her, be so close to his beloved companion.

The sky was still filled with silver fluffy clouds and the drops of water pattered calmingly on the window ledge.


End file.
